Meaning

Dear Me,

In their book ” Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle,” Emily and Amelia Nagoski discuss meaning and purpose in life.  They discuss the criteria for both definitions of meaning to include: 

1) That meaning “isn’t always fun.” – Activities of meaning aren’t always personally rewarding, nor are they necessarily personally pleasurable. Meaningful activities are defined as those that seek to “use and develop the best in oneself.”

2) Meaning provides a positive final value of ones life – “That is, a life has meaning when a person contributes something positive to the world by the time they die” (regardless of whether they enjoyed or intended that contribution)

3) “Meaning is not constant.” – Meaning ebbs and flows, waxes and wanes. Some points in life are rich in meaning, others are somewhat neutral, and others still are absolutely devoid of meaning. (Note it is usually in these points where life is devoid of meaning, during the lows, the furthest ebbs and wanes, where we both question and seek meaning)

4) Regardless of whether your acts of meaning aren’t pleasurable or not, meaning is good for you overall – “Meaning, in short, is the nourishing experience of feeling like we’re connected to something larger than ourselves. It helps us thrive when things are going well, and it helps us cope when things go wrong in our lives.”

In Burnout it is further discussed that meaning is rarely something we find, but rather something we make. To make this meaning we need to “engage” with something larger than ourselves. I emphasize “engage” because it is mentioned that believing in the existence of something larger than  ourselves, simply is not enough. We have to actively engage with it; we have to be an active participant of the adventure, not just watch it from the sidelines.

Emily and Amelia further outline the research findings of the most common sources of inspiration to create meaning are likely to come from. The three top sources include pursuits and achievements of ambitions and goals that specifically leave a legacy, service to a divine or spiritual calling, and, lastly, emotional intimate connection with others.

Keeping these criteria in mind – that meaning isn’t always personally pleasurable, that it involves a positive impact on the world after our departure, that it isn’t always a constant thing, and that it is gives us a sense of connection to somethig greater than ourselves – what in our past has given meaning to our life? What currently gives meaning to our life. Looking at our past, our current living, and our hopes and dreams for the future, what could give meaning to our life in the future?