Dear Me,

Dear Me,

Dear Me,

“Measure Their Progress, Not From the Heights to Which They May In Time Attain, But From the Depths From Which They Have Come.”

– Frederick Douglass

Dear Me,

“No matter what you’ve experienced, remember this: There are people who’ve had it better than you and done worse. And there are people who’ve had it worse than you and done better. The circumstances really have nothing to do with getting over your personal history. Past hurts can make you bitter or better —the choice is yours.”

– John Maxwell Failing Forward

Dear Me,

“The sudden bracing cold on my skin and the thin lace of water I flick into the air reminds me that I do indeed exist.”

-Caroline Paul

What have you done recently to remind you that you do, indeed, exist? How easy is it to recall a moment? How about an abundance of these moments? How often are your reminder moments taking place? Are you at peace with the frequency at which they occur?

Do something this week that stirs your soul, that wakes your senses, that brings forth that reassurance that you are not just existing, you are fully awake and living in that moment.

-Dear Me Thought

Dear Me,

When was the last time you experienced a state of flow?

Dear Me,

In their book ” Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle,” Emily and Amelia Nagoski discuss meaning and purpose in life.  They discuss the criteria for both definitions of meaning to include: 

1) That meaning “isn’t always fun.” – Activities of meaning aren’t always personally rewarding, nor are they necessarily personally pleasurable. Meaningful activities are defined as those that seek to “use and develop the best in oneself.”

2) Meaning provides a positive final value of ones life – “That is, a life has meaning when a person contributes something positive to the world by the time they die” (regardless of whether they enjoyed or intended that contribution)

3) “Meaning is not constant.” – Meaning ebbs and flows, waxes and wanes. Some points in life are rich in meaning, others are somewhat neutral, and others still are absolutely devoid of meaning. (Note it is usually in these points where life is devoid of meaning, during the lows, the furthest ebbs and wanes, where we both question and seek meaning)

4) Regardless of whether your acts of meaning aren’t pleasurable or not, meaning is good for you overall – “Meaning, in short, is the nourishing experience of feeling like we’re connected to something larger than ourselves. It helps us thrive when things are going well, and it helps us cope when things go wrong in our lives.”

In Burnout it is further discussed that meaning is rarely something we find, but rather something we make. To make this meaning we need to “engage” with something larger than ourselves. I emphasize “engage” because it is mentioned that believing in the existence of something larger than  ourselves, simply is not enough. We have to actively engage with it; we have to be an active participant of the adventure, not just watch it from the sidelines.

Emily and Amelia further outline the research findings of the most common sources of inspiration to create meaning are likely to come from. The three top sources include pursuits and achievements of ambitions and goals that specifically leave a legacy, service to a divine or spiritual calling, and, lastly, emotional intimate connection with others.

Keeping these criteria in mind – that meaning isn’t always personally pleasurable, that it involves a positive impact on the world after our departure, that it isn’t always a constant thing, and that it is gives us a sense of connection to somethig greater than ourselves – what in our past has given meaning to our life? What currently gives meaning to our life. Looking at our past, our current living, and our hopes and dreams for the future, what could give meaning to our life in the future?

Dear Me,

“The heron is exactly what the heron is to you in the moment you choose to give it meaning. It will be that meaning until you decide it means something else. That’s how meaning works. It’s a subjective act of interpretation… Meaning, like many crafts, happens in collaboration between maker and materials…The trouble starts when we forget about our participation in the creation of harmony, of meaning. When we remove our agency in meaning-making, we start to think in absolutes. We are our jobs. We are defined by the car we drive. Our objective worth is reflected in the way our parents or our peers treat us. We don’t lend our voices to harmony. We buy our harmonies pre-sung in tidy plastic packages.

I believe our worth is fixed. We are innately worthy. Our meaning? Our identity? Those concepts require our intentional participation and they are mercifully flexible…There are objective facts in the world. Of course there are. But our concept of self, our significance, our sense of whether or not we deserve to take up space in the universe or experience joy and contentment—these are not questions of fact, they are questions of meaning.

-Jarod K. Anderson

Dear Me,

I was reconnecting with some friends I had not seen nor spoke with in some years. We nostalgically reminisced on the good ol’days of our youth, now over 20 years ago. After 20 years have passed, many memories become muddled and hazy, or completely absent of recollection. Fortunately, amongst a group of us, we were able to reconstruct many of these memories from various contributions. But, in this realization of how distant and forgotten so many things from my far reaching past had become, I could not help but wonder, in another 20 years, in 40, or 60, what of my life will have truly mattered enough to remember? And who will be there to help in its reconstruction?

–Dear Me Original Thought

Dear Me,

“Do not think your greatest accomplishment are going to happen in your comfort zone.”

-Virginia Rose

Dear Me,