The Willing and the Reluctant

Dear Me,

There is a saying I have heard a few different ways, and I am not all too sure who originally said it. Sometimes this saying talks of the Day, sometimes of Life and sometimes of Change. Choosing to use the word Change, the quote goes,

“Change leads the willing. It drags along the reluctant.”


how you choose to view change is important. Because no matter what you do, how well you plan and prepare, no matter how much you ‘got this,’ there are some changes in life you are just not going to have any control over. It is illusionary to assume that we have complete control of our circumstances. This is not to say that we have no control. Only that there are other external factors and forces that effect our circumstances. At any given moment, we have only as much control of our external environment as it allows us to have.


Now, in moments of unexpected and unwanted change, there is one thing that we can control, and that is how we feel. At any given moment, no matter the circumstance, we have the ability to choose how we feeling about it. And it is out of these feelings that our actions, or our reactions, spring.

Granted, all to often our feelings are reactive. But these reactive feelings are a matter of habit. Habit of mind that has built over time to be automatic and without thought. And we can change how we reactively feel into a better ones if we take the time to first investigate and recognize these habits of thought, of feeling; and secondly, take dedicate the patience, persistence, and self compassion for error and continual correction, to change that habit to a better one.

We can decide how we feel, and thus, how we react. We can choose to wallow in this change, choose to resist it, and we can choose to be petrified with inaction by the fear of it; or we can choose to accept it, to embrace it, to work with it, and to make the best of it; to change it. Because, as Heraclitus so rightly pointed out, “the only constant in life is change itself;” and change does lead the willing, and it drag along the reluctant.

–Dear Me Original Thought

Thinking is Already Action

Dear Me,

“Throughout our life we produce energy. We say things and do things, and every thought, every word, and every act carries our signature. What we produce as thoughts, as speech, as action, continues to influence the world, and that is our continuation body. Our actions carry us into the future. We are like stars whose light energy continues to radiate across the cosmos millions of years after they become extinct.


When you produce a thought of hatred, anger, or despair, it harms you, and it also harms the world…When you are able to produce a thought of compassion and understanding, it is healing and nourishing for yourself and the world. Just as an acidic cloud produces acid rain, so will the energy of anger, fear, blaming, or discrimination produce a toxic environment for ourselves and others. Use your time wisely. Every moment it is possible to think, say, or do something that inspires hope, forgiveness, and compassion. You can do something to protect and help others and our world.


We have to train ourselves in the art of right thinking so we can produce positive, nourishing thoughts every day. If you had a negative thought about someone in the past, it’s not too late to do something about it. The present moment contains both the past and the future. If today you can produce a thought of compassion, of love, of forgiveness, then that positive thought has the power to transform the negative thought of yesterday and to guarantee a more beautiful future tomorrow.


Every day we can practice producing thoughts of compassion. Thinking is already action.
Every compassionate thought bears our signature.
It is our continuation.”

-Thich Nhat Hanh in his boom “The Art of Living”