Dear Me,

What we tell ourselves is important. Our words have meaning, and that meaning affects what we believe. Often I hear the words “I can’t.” This is the idea that we are unable, incapable, not permitted. Another similar line I hear is “I don’t know how.” Again, the idea that we are unable, incapable, and in this case we have not permitted ourselves to try, to find out, to learn. I’m a stickler for how this is phrased and for correcting and rephrasing it.

My two favorite rephrases are the addition of a small but significant word on the end – the word “yet;” and the rephrasing of “I cant,” or “I don’t know how,” into “I’m learning. Both of these rephrases denote a hopeful future state of “can” – of possibility, of being able to do so in some future state. Both of these also make the present moment an active process of acquiring what is necessary to turn “can’t” into “can.” They also form a decision of commitment to the process of learning. And, finally, these two rephrases give us permission; to try, to make mistakes, to fail, to learn, to try again, to succeed in the process and empower ourselves; proving and instilling in ourselves that “can’ts” and “don’t know hows” do become “cans” and “know hows.”

-Dear Me Original Thought